Tips to help you not take things so personally

1- Realize that it’s not about you.

If someone is being rude to you or insulting you, that’s not about you. If they weren’t struggling with something about themselves, they wouldn’t feel the need to be crappy to you. Happy people don’t feel the need to bring others down.

2- Challenge your perfectionism.

People who struggle with perfectionism have an especially hard time dealing with negative remarks from people. If that’s you, it’s time to challenge your perfectionism. Stop thinking that you have to be perfect and stop thinking that flaws are avoidable. Literally everyone has flaws, including you. No human is perfect and that’s okay.

3- Change up your perspective.

Something that might help you not take something personally is by changing your perspective of it. Yes, your feelings might be hurt but think about the bigger picture. Will this matter a year – or even a week – from now? Is it really important? Or try changing your perspective by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. What do you think they meant by it? Why do you think they did/said this thing? Think about it in other ways and I’m sure you’ll realize that maybe you’re overreacting.

4- Build up your positive folder.

If you’re someone who struggles with going into a negative thought spiral every time someone says something negative to you, this could help. Build up your positive folder – literally or metaphorically. Some people actually create a physical or digital folder full of positive messages, compliments they’ve received, or good things they’ve done.

5- Evaluate your relationships.

If there’s someone who you constantly feel is attacking you, really think about it. Sometimes it’s not just hypersensitivity. Sometimes a toxic person is just a toxic person. It might be time for you to evaluate your relationships and figure out if anyone is just a negative influence in your life. Try to limit your interactions with this person, or cut ties completely if you need to.

7- Try to clarify what happened.

If there’s a specific situation (or multiple situations) that are bothering you, maybe you should talk them out. Instead of overthinking about it and letting it stress you out, gain some clarity. Ask the person what they meant. Communicate about it and let them know how you feel. Get things out in the open and maybe you can gain some understanding, which will make you feel so much better.

8- Ask yourself if you could learn something from it.

Next time someone has something negative to say about you, ask yourself if you can learn something from it. I’m not talking about when someone insults you or criticizes you out of spite. I’m talking about people who have constructive criticism for you. Ask yourself if they could have a point with what they said and see if it’s something you could actually improve. Take it as healthy criticism and learn from it.

#Utsaah Psychology Clinic

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